July 1, 2025
Bridget Cogley
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Mini-Project: Mapping Grief

Diamonds scatter across the view in various colors and sizes. Text explains "Our relationships are a constellation of who we are."

Call this the anecdata / sketching fuzzy data edition….

Lots of models exist for discussing grief. I wanted to provide a rough visual for how I think about the transformation process of grief.

You see, we define ourselves within our relationships. Each role we have – child, spouse, friend, member of [something], worker, etc – matters to our identity.

Certain people have a stronger influence on us than others – call this the proverbial “average of 5 friends.” As a data viz person, I don’t think this is a simple average, but a triangulated one: Some relationships pull us more than others. You decide how much or how little daily.

  • Diamonds scatter across the view in various colors and sizes. Text explains "Our relationships are a constellation of who we are."
  • Within the constellation, pink and yellow diamonds are focused. Pink represents family of origin while light yellow is friends and darker yellow is key communities. Text continues: "Influencing us from the beginning..." Highlights are skewed more towards the right.
  • Family of origin and some friends/communities are reduced in emphasis. Spouses (green), children (blue) and coworkers lift up in color, drawing emphasis a bit more to the left and center. Text continues: "Taking us new directions..."
  • All elements of the constellation fade a bit. A dark heart appears roughly triangulated between the various influences. Prose finishes with "And helping us find our center". Heart is called out playfully with "me" in all caps.
  • Elements remain faded out but a few shift from full color to outline. Those influences are missing now and the heart shifts over. The text states: "Grief moves our center as we rebalance influences." The heart is labelled "Still me, but shifted" and moved over to the left as influences on the right fade.

The nuance within this graphic is that we generally move around even without grief. Events happen and we draw closer to one influence or another, sometimes allowing that size to expand.

Grief, however, pulls the bottom out immediately. I’ve spent a lot of time telling folks about refinding my center. This graphic illustrates that for me.

This recalibration process takes time. Certain losses hit differently and can also amplify the effects of others from before. At this age (still relatively early compared to my peers), I am the oldest generation now. It amplifies losses of within that generation – ties that knew me as child.

Our personality is reinforced by those who surround us. They challenge us, reaffirm us, and help shape us in so many ways. As these points fall off the map, we recalibrate, but never truly return to where we were.

Without that extra pull, how could we?