Off the Wall

Dr Suess Data Warehouse

A fact is a fact, its numbers intact
Its lowest levels and transactions stacked
These numbers are sure to astound
These are facts, the center of the star
The dimensions, you know where those are
Spun out all around, slicing facts abound!

Union or join, full outer or inner?
Do we need this outlier in ‘ere?
Filter and restrict, Cartesian a few
Oh yes, it should be there
Count distinct and maybe a WHERE
Select * from every table too!

Write a trigger, create a SPROC
Yes, this automation will rock
Pass a parameter, CAST as Int
Put it in a view
Maybe a #temp table too
Add in a helping –comment

Coalesce and merge, create a case
You’re typing at a great pace
Count distinct, set to 1
Covert dates to 103
See the 4-digit century
Now insert, go, you’re done

Email the analyst with great haste
Send them the schema, Cut-paste
Surely no one has Visio, PNG will do
Maybe even tap out a friendly line
And tell them the database is divine
And hope they don’t ask for a view.

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